hellofaday

Started with the solemnity of their dysfunction from overnight: when he brought his swollen member out at first she said ‘stop’ but after the usual rituals he’d grown accustomed to she had exposed herself and  rolled over, opened her legs, kissed him back hard, came twice. Only after they were well into the afternoon did the nature of the event come into question, and by then he’d already made more calls of kind he had never hoped to make: the pastor, the cousin in family law, the folks, sealing for himself what had been before then something he was sealing himself against. He figures out lust for life (pop, iggy, 1977) on an electric acoustic violao after it gets stuck in his head. A song in code about quitting addiction. Things start to add up. He plays and plays to run through the old repertoire from the bar bard days and is surprised his voice can handle the high end even after the hiatus. It’s more pragmatic than cathartic: He’ll need every penny he can get if it goes down like she keeps threatening. It saddens him but he has his little girl’s face in his eyes and she’s worth it, whatever shame he’s trying to sidestep. He thought she thought the same in terms of civility in the marriage but that’s proven otherwise. Regret given way to reconciliation. Surprised at his delusion, surprised at the way he ignored what or who was hitting him in the face literally. He plays until he can’t think of anything else to play, then he learns a few more. Through with philosophizing the whys, rationalizing the cruelty. Tired of certain things always changing. She agrees to leave with him and the baby back for the states as planned but only after trying twice to reneg on the —